years could go by...

so, lately i've been talking to well... her again, and a part of me gets elated and just feels wonderful, but a part of me feels the reality, that i'll never be that guy for her, the guy i long to wish to be, it's like heartbreaking, it seems that everything i write is somehow connected to her and how she made me feel, the good feelings, not the bad.

She makes me think about these two songs by the Devlins

"Years Could Go By"

It's okay, to be afraid
Lose yourself, in the waves of regret
Passing over, not just yet
You are save, in the arms that won't forget

And I look in your eyes
And I feel no surprise
When you tell me now you have to go away
You know years could go by
Empty days, sleepless nights

And I look in your eyes
And I feel no surprise
When you tell me now you have to go away
You know years could go by
Empty days, sleepless nights

Years, years, years

and

"Where Are You Tonight"
Time and time again I have tried
To understand what you need
But there's only so much to give
Did you hear that

Time and time again I have tried
To understand what you still deny
I can hear you by my side, but tell me please
Where are you tonight?

Now you watch the space
I can see you just look around
And you've just got to say what you want
And sometime maybe it'll come around

You know it's hard to be so close
And feel you're losing what you need the most
I can hear you by my side
Tell me please where are you tonight

Time and time again I have tried
To understand what you still deny
I can hear you by my side
Tell me please where are you tonight
Tell me did you hear that
Could you hear it anyway

and this poem i wrote yesterday:
Last night I stayed up dreaming
Wishing you were by my side
Though you were not with me
In my dreams we had to hide
From things that looked to tear us
Tear us so far apart
Even though you are gone now
You're always in my heart
The rain beat against my windows
The wind began to moan
All I could think of was you
And how you could leave me alone
I began to think clearlyUnder this winter's sky
I know why you left me
For you fell for another guy
All I can do is dream now
Live in my fantasies
Because you never noticed
That you were meant for me